Why Change

Many people spend a significant chunk of time, money, and brain power on wishing for change. The self-help industry is a multi-million dollar industry. We are obsessed with wanting to be better. We want to be more interesting, eat healthier, have better clothes and houses, lose weight, be less anxious, feel more confident, move up in our jobs, make more money, and live the dream. 

Pick one thing you want to change about yourself. Now, think about why you want to change it.

It’s usually something like “because I’ll be better” or “I will feel happier” or “people will like me more.”  

Let’s poke at this with a coaching stick. 

This mindset is rampant throughout the Millennial collective. It’s one of the biggest reasons we struggle so much in our lives. We are taught that we should work hard and sacrifice to be better, and that being better will bring us happiness. But, who determined that? 

It suggests there is something right now, inside of us, or around us, that isn’t good enough. 

For most of us, we want change because we believe it will make us feel better. 

We think it will get us approval. We need someone else’s permission to be OK.

Consider that.

We want want permission to feel better from other people. We want likes, hearts, thumb ups, and reassurances that we’re worthy. 

Honestly, there are millions of people who have all the things, and are completely miserable. 

There’s an easy way to tell he difference between something you want, and something you think you want because others will approve. 

Imagine having whatever it is you want to change. You lost the weight. Got the job. Bought the car. Now, imagine no one else knows, and no one else can ever know. You lose 50 lbs but no one can see the difference. You buy a new car and it stays hidden in the garage. 

If no one knows except you, do you still want it? If not, then it isn’t something you actually want for yourself. You want it so that you can change how other people behave toward you. People are fickle, impatient, easily distracted, and more interested in their own lives. Changing ourselves so that people will offer approval is a losing battle that only results in making us feel like crap. 

False goals make us feel bad about ourselves. True goals come from self-love, because you already approve of yourself before you decide to change anything. The change is just icing on a delicious cake. This creates motivation, excitement, and we don’t fear hiccups along the way because we are already good with who we are.

What if we automatically approved of ourselves by default exactly as we are? What if we realized we don’t even need to change anything in the first place, unless we want to? 

When I gave myself approval, period, I was able to drop weight of the world, because it’s not my job to carry it. It doesn’t mean I stop bathing. It means I can choose goals for me, and actually have fun working toward them. That’s called living your life. Amazing.

So, why change? Because you want to.

Why Change was last modified: October 4th, 2020 by Level Up Coaching

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